I wonder about the sky when it rains. How it seems to be glum and bright at the same time. How two opposites make something beautiful like a rainbow or sunshower, how the sun pours out from the sky once the rain stops. The sound of birds and crickets hum. The dew on the leaves as the foggy mist takes the pond. I wonder how candles illuminate such mystery, the way a light flickers in a darken room. The heat of the fire beaming in flames yet so quiet, you almost forget that it is there. Like a silent killer, left alone that flame rises yet it is in peace. 

How can you be two things at once? 

I think about wine a lot. The taste of bitter and sweet, How it fascinates the throat with its mixture. I feel the warmth of the white wine and the bitterness of the red, yet fixated on that entity, floating in mid air as the alcohol hits the bloodstream. The smelly poor man on the train, whose scent hit the nostril like a sharp knife of sweat and dirt. His odor catches all off guard, yet you wonder what is his story. Wonder what he ate for breakfast this morning or what he did as a child. Wonder if he’s ever fallen in love, or if love caused him to lose it. The love of greed, or sin, or simply not enough love. 

I think about oceans a lot. Those beastly blue things that surround my every angle. Beauty is an understatement, those salty waters catch on your skin like a leech and pull you in as you feel floatless. Gravity has been lost. I feel my toes are lifeless, no ground to hold them on. I feel the swish of my arms back and forth and for a moment I am different. Different from those land walkers, I am apart of the ocean as it snatches my skin, to become apart of me. 

You ever wonder how the sun manages to stay put in the exact degree and position that transcends the heavens and clouds. When you look out to it, it feels different. It feels like you’re stuck. A moment where the lights of the large star feel so close yet are farther than anything will ever be. Something that is there for your holding but you can’t hold. 

Double Identities, they’re everywhere. In nature, in suns, in oceans, in candles, in raindrops and teardrops, in the hobo on the train, and in all of our deepest souls. 


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